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03.30.2011 / meredithcooley

Actually Finding Him

“He made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living, so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark, but actually find Him.” Acts 17:26-28

To be honest, I’ve been groping lately. It’s been one of those seasons where you feel like your pressing after the Lord and there just seems to be silence in return. For me, these seasons always come during a major life decision. Convenient, right? It feels like the Lord just isn’t speaking loud enough (ya know, audibly speaking or writing it in the clouds!).

Well here goes the major life decision…is our timing right for going to the Northwest?

I had a hard time even writing that. I hate that we’ve even considered changing our timeline, but when Blake and I were honest with ourselves, we were both feeling doubts. We immediately started praying over the doubts and asked the team to join with us in praying. My prayer was, Lord whatever you want, despite the cost, I’ll follow. Just make your will clear! This is where the silence kicked in.

After weeks of frustrating silence, I started to focus on what the Lord has already told me, not what I haven’t yet heard. He’s told me I’m saved, I’m His no matter where I live or what I do, I’m called to submission, and that His eternal plan is better than mine. Amazingly, I started to have peace. Peace even without a decision. My yoke is light because I am saved, not because I have it all figured out!

Last Sunday Blake returned from a day of solitude with a decision. We’re staying in Texas for another year. Already being at peace, submission was a joy not a fight. Yes, we’re mourning everything we thought this next year would be, and a little embarrassed to have changing plans, but at the end of the day we’ve sought the Lord and had plenty of time and space we’ve needed to actually find Him.

Prayer Requests:

-That the Lord would be preparing a way for the team in Spokane

-Strength for the group to deal with upcoming changes


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