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11.24.2010 / meredithcooley

Should I Stay or Should I Go

I’m feeling the need to introduce myself, for those of you who don’t me, I’m Meredith. Formerly I was an Ivey until I married my hunk of a husband, Blake. We are the two members not yet in the Northwest. Alright, on to the blog post.

“Should I Stay or Should I Go” …if I stay there will tro
uble, if I go there will be double…

Decision’s already made, we’re going…we just happen to still be here. We’ve never been that content here in Tejas, but last year, all in one week, Blake and I finally decided we’re buying a house, changing our jobs, and getting two dogs. We were going to start digging some roots in Texas. So the week we bought our house, started new jobs, and got a dog, Colby and Mackenzie returned from a trip in the Northwest. They wanted to go…as in move there. Honestly, we did too, but this was the “plant your roots in Texas week”, remember? We decided to pray, and from there we prayed, and did some more praying. Guess what the Lord had to say? Go. From that point until now, I’ve been self-diagnosed with Split Personality Disorder; I’m semi-ecstatic and semi-depressed about our move.

I’m ecstatic because we heard from the Lord. We prayed, he clearly answered. Having a clear specific calling is a planner’s heaven. We’re able to dream with the team, the “Dream Team” as I like to call us, we’re able to press towards sanctification in a group of 7 other God-fearing people, and it’s the chance I’ve needed/decided to take to get up off of my lazy bleep and join in the work Jesus is already doing. On top of all of this, I’m going with the best leader a wife could ask for.

On to the second personality, I’m leaving a huge family (my parents, in-laws, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, you get the point). I love family so much I majored in it in college, Family Life and Community Service, with a minor is Spanish to be exact. Family is a big deal to me. I let my mind go on these long trails about how when we move to the Northwest and have kids, my kids will never know their grandparents in Texas, and some gothic tween who charges me forty bucks an hour is going to be babysitting them opposed to loving and free grandparents. Ah, I need to take a breath; a big breath of the warm Texas air in late-November. I will miss this house, this porch, and this no-so winter weather. I’m also leaving a dream job. I’m a Special Ed teacher, and probably not the Special Ed you’re use to. I only have four kids, all medically fragile, who I love as my own kids. We’ve been together each day for 8 hours for the past two years. It makes my stomach turn each time I think about leaving them. Just to top that off there’s an increase in cost of living and decrease in teacher’s pay in the Northwest. Yuck.

At the end of a long day in the life of a person with this disorder, I ask the Lord, where will I get more of you? The Northwest, He says. So, yes, the decision is already made. We’re going.

Prayer Requests:

  • The team’s safe return from Bend, OR
  • Direction in choosing a final city to plant
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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. A friend / Nov 27 2010 7:47 pm

    Just a helpful tip from a Christian-turned-agnostic. People in the Northwest are wonderful, like people everywhere, and if you want to convert them, making snide remarks about “gothic tween[s]” won’t endear you to them. They can sense your disdain from miles away. Most non-Christians can’t stand evangelism as it is, and no one really likes being preached to, but the attitude certainly doesn’t help. Maybe try to not see the Northwest as a heathenistic wasteland, one where they have something to learn from you but you have nothing to learn from them. If you hope to change people (I think you shouldn’t; I cringe at the thought of a bunch of dogmatic people swarming in and “effectively tak[ing] over the town” as the team’s bio says), you can’t do it at arms length, and you can’t do it while holding your nose with one hand. You have to embrace them, all of them, and you have to be willing to drop the stereotypes. They might even surprise you, who knows.

    That’s not to say that I don’t think you’re all probably nice and wonderful people. I know you mean well. And this isn’t a blog intended for people like me anyway. I know you have to share private thoughts somewhere, so I don’t mean to be overly harsh, and I hope this comment isn’t taken that way.

    I don’t keep up with this blog, and I won’t post negative comments in the future (or any comments, really). I’ve said all I intend to say, so please don’t worry.

    Good luck with the move and the transition to life in the Northwest.

  2. Meredith Cooley / Nov 28 2010 5:38 pm

    Thanks for your reply. I can see how you misunderstood my heart in what I was writing. Considering we don’t know each other, let me explain.

    First, let me say your right. There could have been better language than “gothic tween”. It was not intended to be a snide remark toward any certain people, but rather just showing how I would prefer to have grandparents around. No harm meant, but poor wording. My apologies.

    I’ve had my heart set on moving to the Northwest for years, even outside of this church plant. I fell in love the first time I went. The land was beautiful, and the people were inspiring, artistic, close to nature, etc. I’ve wanted to go ever since then, but never had the opportunity.

    That being said, my hope in going to the Northwest is not to fix a “heathenistic wasteland”, nor would I ever consider the northwest as such. I also don’t want the Northwest to become like me. I am mess, a broken girl who you could probably totally pick apart. I will be the first to admit that I have a lot to learn from all people and a lot of room for growth. My real hope in going to the Northwest is that God would use this broken mess to show others how good He is. I’m not required to be perfect because that was what Christ accomplished while He was here. I can’t fix people.

    So thanks for your encouragement regarding not going with my nose plugged and loving others at an arms length. I have no intention of doing so. I agree that it is very obvious when Christians have this attitude and it is not an example of how Christ loved.

    But honestly, thank you for sharing. This has been beneficial, and I am learning from you.

    If you have any further questions or comments, please feel free to e-mail me at meredithivey@gmail.com

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